What makes a mother? I have asked myself this question quite a bit in the past 8 months. Often times the only aspect of motherhood that is acknowledged is mothers who physically have children with them and are/have already raised them. Honestly, this is how I viewed mothers until my world came crashing down last September.
There are so many aspects of motherhood that it is hard to pinpoint just one example of what a mother is. With Mother’s Day coming up this next Sunday, I think so many different types of mothers are often left out of this day of appreciation and celebration. Just because a mother no longer has her baby with her, does that make her any less of a mother than a woman who loves her live children just as much? Or what about mothers who have estranged relationships with their children, do you think they feel appreciated on Mother’s Day? I could describe different mothers until I am blue in the face, but the point is there are so many different types of mothers that all long to be appreciated on Mother’s Day and to most of all be remembered.
In this letter written to pastors, I found myself shaking my head in agreement. Just a few days ago I was talking with my friend Amy about how we were not looking forward to mother’s day and I had told Adam and I did not want to go to church because it was going to hurt too much. It is hard enough that we have lost our baby, but to walk into church on Mother’s Day, I doubt I would be acknowledged as a mother. I mean, I have no belly to show for it, and I have no baby in my arms. I would see all those happy mothers being appreciated and loved on. While I, would be holding back tears. I would hope that being in the community of Christ, all different types of mothers would be appreciated and remembered, even though they may not look like your ‘typical’ mom. The world often does not recognize these beautiful babyloss mommas as mommas, but we are all mommas and we always will be. Nobody can take that away from us. We have loved and lost, even if it was for a short time. Our children grew in our wombs and we watched them leave our bodies and slip into the presence of our savior. We are mothers. Even though we look different than what you may describe as your average mother, we all love our children just the same.
I do not know what is in store for Mother’s Day this year, but I think I will be spending it with my husband, his parents, and my furbaby, somehow we will make this hard day into something beautiful. <3